It snowed yesterday, briefly, and I'm glad I (actually, Danielle) got a picture because it didn't last long.
I'm not too sad about that, but I was kind of looking forward to sleeping in... which didn't happen.
I've been working a lot, it seems, lately. I'm tired.
Like, a
real lot, not just my domestic diva stuff... not just my paying job, either...
(emotional work is hard, too!)
I
am getting back to my roots in this nursing job, though. I love it that I get to work from home (although the sitting is killing my hips), and in my PJs (on my weekends it's like I'm hibernating from Friday at 7 pm until Sunday at 1 pm- I emerge with cough drops and three empty coffee cups).
It's a total blessing to be able to be at home (no child care- although I'm considering it based on recent behavior... - no uniforms, no travel, no gas for the car, no $110 nursing shoes...). And, I know it sounds kind of corny, but I really do feel like I get to help people.
New moms and dads are scary... I mean scared.
Some people are calm in true emergencies - or maybe ignorant- (
um... hang up the phone, please, and call 911... no, a respiratory rate of 60 a minute is not normal... OR... yes, that sounds serious, a respiratory rate of 5 a minute isn't fast enough...), and some people panic at nothing (my child is twitching...
me: twitching?... yes, when she sleeps...
me: is it possible she is dreaming?... no, I said she is twitching! Not dreaming!). Some people just don't know any better (really? It's normal for babies to cry- and it's ok for me to pick my baby up at night if she cries? It's bed time!). Children do some stupid things (my child decided it would be fun to give himself his brother's epi-pen, do I need to be worried?) Some adults do some stupid things (well, I was just thinking that it would be ok to take more tylenol because it didn't work the first time...
me: and when was that?... um, 10 minutes ago,that's ok, right?...
me: um, no... not ok... 2000 mg in 20 minutes is NOT ok... bummer...
me: emmhmmmm).
I get some very unique perspectives of health care and the diversity of culture in our country. Truly, it's very interesting. I really enjoy it. For real, I do! Promise- no sarcasm.
My house does gets trashed, though. The children can undo a room in about 30 seconds, so imagine several hours of them getting full reign of the kitchen and family room.
Yep, it's ugly.
I know I need to let that go.
I am seriously looking at the blessing side of things, here. Even though there are some negatives, the positives far out-weigh them.
It's like that in all aspects of my (other) situation, though. I know that people I trusted took advantage of me, and it sucks, but it has resulted in finding out that I have the best girlfriends in the whole, wide world.
It has brought someone I care deeply for to Christ.
It has strengthened my prayer time (jumbled more, yes, but more active, for sure...
OK... maybe it just lengthened my prayer time).
It has brought us (my family) to a better schedule (less craziness).
It has led me and two very amazing ladies and their children to a very nice (big, beautiful, professional) studio.
It has led some very important men I know to connect in a meaningful way.
It has led me and my girlfriends to connect in more meaningful ways as well!
I'm more certain than ever that I am learning some hard lessons. Believe me, it was not part of
my plan to stop dancing this year, or to change my schedule mid-year, just to have to learn a new schedule in a new place. I didn't plan on a lot of things that happened... But, that's just it... It wasn't MY plan...
I'm positive that there is purpose in everything.
I know Jesus walks with me (in fact, I'm probably being carried). I'm certain the Holy Spirit is at work in every single aspect of my day. I do not doubt for a second that He has brought (probably 30) people together at this time and space for monumental reasons I can not even begin to fathom. It's like that pin-drop moment when everything happens at once. I can only see part of it. It's so much bigger than me.
I think that is what faith is.
Psalm 119: 50: My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.
I'm very thankful for my life here on Earth for the here and now, and the lives of the people that touch mine.
And I'm thankful for my faith...
God knows I couldn't do anything alone -
(and so do I, so, thanks be to God!).
