I was so excited to hear about my brother and his family coming to stay, and then I realized I was going to be hosting Easter at my house...
I went into anxiety/OCD over-drive... We're talking about me, on my knees, 10 o'clock at night, scrubbing the kitchen floor with a magic eraser (the same floor I vowed NOT to clean, since it's going to be replaced)...
I'm not proud of it, but those feelings come flooding in- the need, the desire to be- Great. Perfect. Creative. I know, in my head, that my niece and nephew wouldn't even look at my floor; my sister-in-law is SO sweet, and gracious that she wouldn't see the dust-dirt-looking-stuff in the corners of the grout; my brother could care less how clean the ceiling fans were... They just wanted to visit.
I even know that my mom and dad just wanted to visit with the people in their family- not my carpets... And sweet, wise, old G-ma is 90. She is just loving being able to love and be loved.
The anxiety and OCD overdrive was so NOT necessary. I know this. It's in my head. I know it is a tool of the enemy... Definitely not from God.
And, there it is: Grace.
Only one person has been perfect. Ever. And he walked on water. And he didn't judge dirty floors and old carpets... He loved. He loved. He loved!
And... It is Easter Sunday.
He came, He loved, He died, He rose again, and He is coming back for us, all because He loves us. He loves people- not carpets, or ceiling fans, or any of the trying-to-be-perfect housewives, like me:)
He forgives us our pride.
So, those of us that are challenged by these feelings, we need to go beyond the feeling of needing to be perfect- because we aren't. And we won't be. Not in this lifetime,anyway. Perfection is not part of our life on Earth- it is only what we can anticipate for Heaven.
So- on this side of my Easter weekend: we had fun, and loved on each other. We took up a whole row at Easter service. We had a glow-in-the-dark egg hunt, that did NOT go as planned, but was still fun (and the easter-bunny's reputation came out intact- us moms can get pretty creative with our story telling, when we need to be). We ate on paper plates this morning- not the plan, but clean up was so easy! And we got to just visit, love, and build relationship with one another, and celebrate the hope that is in Christ.
This crazy winter got to me, right around the end of February. I was cold. And tired. And cold. And it kept. On. Snowing. And I was so. Cold.
When it snowed on April 2nd, I started crying. Like, for real. My family thought I was joking, but I kind of lost it... I needed the sunshine to come back. For it to come back and STAY. So, I insisted on pancakes at IHOP (don't pancakes make everyone feel better?)... But then my stomach was hurting for a full week (which is what happens when you eat gluten after avoiding it for three months- a cautionary tale). So, that wasn't so good... But it's better, now.
We've had a full week of sun and warm weather, and I'm starting to feel slightly motivated again:)
SO... We (the man and I) are still juicing- but not every day, and (obviously) not exclusively. I'm still trying to be committed to the gluten-free lifestyle - I really do feel better when I'm eating clean, fresh fruits and veggies, and meat. I made a G-F birthday cake tonight, and it was yummy, but I feel it- that I-don't-feel-quite-right feeling. So, I keep trying to figure out this nutrition stuff...
D is playing lacrosse (!) she loves it, and it is so fun to watch her play! Tom-Tom is 17 on Tuesday (!) and we are in the throws of wondering what transition will look like for him. He wants to either be Dr.Who, or Indiana Jones.... The future's so bright... We gotta wear shades. Katie-cat is active, tree-climbing, rope-climbing, jumping, flipping, twirling, moving, and busy! She is definitely my wild child, and happy. Mostly, anyway. We all have our moments.
AND... Here I am again, saying I'll write more, post more, do more. God's mercies are new everyday, thank goodness! He knows what He is doing, for sure. He wants us to use our gifts, though, to further His kingdom. This week I have come across obedience to His callings more than once, and that we need to acknowledge Him. Also, that God wants to have relationship with us... It's in Matthew (not sure of which verse): "My sheep hear My voice,and I know them, and they follow Me"