Saturday, June 21, 2014

All the time....

There is something lovely about that first week of summer.

No early mornings... No alarm clocks... No major busy schedules...

We look forward to it every year, and I know I am blessed to be able to share that with my kiddos, because of the many (and long) shifts that my husband works (he does still have the alarm clocks and early mornings). So this isn't a 'oh-how-I-love-summer-but-when-do-the-kids-go-back-to-school' post.  Because I really do look forward to it, and I really do homeschool.... So they are with me anyway. Tommy, though, goes to school outside of the home, and that first week without the 0630 alarm clock is delicious, like eating big colossal doughnuts with extra frosting (can you tell I'm on a diet?)....

And then it's time, by the end of that first week, to set up a (loose) routine because everyone starts falling apart because there isn't a routine- but there is resistance to it (the routine), because it is summer (duh), but then I have to ask them, why are there tantrums every afternoon? - and point out to them said tantrums, allegedly due to lack of schedule/routine... And I have big kids. Tantrums. Not ever pretty, but especially not fun when everyone is in double digit ages.

Not kidding.

But that is another post, for another time, too... Because, really, I'm needing to remind myself, that life is so much more than what I see, or what I am going through. It's bigger than me. It has a purpose. Every little thing means something, and it all fits together in something bigger than anything we can even imagine- the good things, the hard things, the painful things.

Because:  God is good. All the time.  (I'm borrowing that from a movie).  He is, though, good.
All. The. Time.

Here is how I know (it's really a million little things, but here are a few of them):

I get to know that my ten year old is, well, sensitive, and amazing. I get to see the growth of another amazing young girl into an amazing young teen. I get to hear about the future of time travel, and all things not impossible.  I now know all about many fandoms (Dr.Who, Sherlock, Marvel, DC, Arrow, Pretty Little Pony, all things Disney, all things reading.... This list can take up SO much space)... I get to learn patience (often many times a day. Every day). I get hugs from younger-than-me-but-taller-than-me people. I see my kids growing (like, literally. Getting taller. Over night).  My husband tells me he still would (and in this culture of for better or for worse, but not for long, that is something).

We are learning about grace. We are growing in faith.  We are doing life.

Because, at the end of the day, especially after a no-routine-and-we-can-all-barely-stand-to-be-around-each-other kind of day, there is still hope... Even if it's just hope for a better day tomorrow, because (praise God), His mercies are new every day.

There is still love, even when it is just- 'I love you all, now everyone go to bed,'  because we all falter in many ways... and  I'm not wanting to do that any more tonight...

There is still the Father, loving us, the Son, saving us, the Holy Spirit, guiding us.

I am growing.  God is growing me through so many things:  kids, puberty, autism, marriage, new floors (trust me- a growth process), (ultra) sensitive children, aging parents, friends in all different stages of life, my sweet, wise, old G-ma...

Stars, oceans, roses, birds, the moon, the sun..

I have everything I need. And a lot of what I don't.

All the time.