Wednesday, August 28, 2013


what is it about the ocean that makes me feel closer to God?

I think that to know He created ALL this..( and then there is me...)

He made it ALL.

I am small and the ocean- it's just huge, and moving, and beautiful! It's crazy!

- I just know that I feel better, feel happier, and pray more freely at the seashore.

I do feel small next to the ocean.

I feel peace, though, too.

sitting and doing nothing but thinking-

feeling the breeze on my skin, through my hair, against my face-

walking just to walk.

I am so happy at the beach, any beach, it doesn't even have to be a certain beach... any will do!

My kids and my husband are happy, too.

I love the sound and the smell.

It's all just amazing, and I'm glad I'm here, and I'm glad that me being so small can see God, who is greater, stronger, awesome, healer, bigger, and higher...

Because, how can you not see Him here?

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Always watchful

It seems that most everyone is searching for something-

Some purpose... Some truth... Some answers... Some validation...

Always something...

(but how about this? how about the ultimate relationship?)

I worry so much about the outside stuff... about choosing curricula (top of the list because school will start and I have yet to nail down what I'm doing with my youngest), jobs, choices, money... I'm searching for the answers (what, what am I doing??), the direction (should I do this, or that?), I think I'm ok with the purpose part (these kids aren't going to raise themselves, and, hello, marriage is all about reflecting God to the world), I do wonder about a lot of stuff... but, well, I can go on and on... the point is I'm worried all the time!

that being said... I'm not supposed to be worrying...

I'm in the midst of a revelation here (and it's taken lots of sermons, studying, reading, fellowship, friends, family, quiet time and PRAYER).  I believe, and I'm being more convicted about it:  

Everything, it all comes down to Christ, and my relationship with Him.

The search for this truth, for this relationship, for this feeling, this peace- the whole for the hole that feels empty- that search, for that something... it's God, and the relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

Because of this relationship, I can rest, and not worry (the flowers don't worry about rain or sun, the birds don't worry either- and the Bible tells us we are greater than these to God).

When I believe this; when I accept this;  my importance is not about my job (so not generating income), my house (lots of work to be done), my good deeds (um... no comment), my mistakes (too many to even count)... WHEN I am most at peace is when I can accept that my identity (everything that is me) IN Christ is it.  Period.

Everything else, I think, falls into place when the relationship with Christ is right.

I know I've had this epiphany before (in a slightly different perspective, kind of like a different language), and I suppose I'm a little slow on the uptake... but it's going to be OK.  It's kind of liberating, actually:)

And, the bonus?  This principal can be applied to every aspect of my life (and yours).