Another year gone, another year begins. It's refreshing, really, a fresh start, new fitness and diet routines, promises made to yourself. I love the new-ness of the new year!
Last night at midnight, the children and I rang in 2013 at a friend's house, with some of our favorite friends. It was fun, but at midnight I didn't have my husband to kiss because he was working. So, we face-timed around 1 am, and we made up for it this morning when he got home from his shift... But, the thing is: I have a husband. I have my family. Already, I am in a much better spot than I was last New Year's Day.
It's hard not to compare, though. Last year was so difficult. My marriage was failing, I definitely had trust issues (and there were a LOT of trust issues) not just with my husband, but with people I thought were my friends. It's so difficult (scary, hard, not fun) to draw a line in the sand and say, basically, I'm on this side... AND still say I forgive, I love my neighbor (all of my neighbors), etc... that stuff is tough! And I'm a human, and I mess up (and... a little off topic, but: I don't hate anyone... and neither do my friends... whatever may be said, or has been said... we are not haters...)
Because..
God has plans, and they are to not harm, and I have been blessed.
I have these amazing friends! Last night I was with several of the very people that helped me with the boundaries that had to be made, and supported the changes that inevitably came with such bold choices. They, in fact, experienced the same trials, in slightly different ways, yes, but we went through a lot together... God is so good.
I'm forever a different person. We all are. I wouldn't want it any other way, truly. That's the growing part, and that's, I'm sure, why they call them growing pains... they hurt.
I would not wish last year on anyone I know; but, last year brought needed changes to my life, and the lives of some of my closest friends. I know I have sisters in Christ that pray for me, support me, and hold me accountable. Every one of my best friends, and my family, were there for me and for Mark- (I hope they all know I'm there for them, indefinitely).
God, though, uses times of trial and suffering to grow us, I know. He brings people together in ways that are miraculous. He numbers our steps; His timing is perfect.
And here's the thing: I can honestly say I've grown up a whole lot this last year. I've matured, for sure, as a woman, a mother, a daughter, a wife. I've grown closer to my God and Savior and Holy Spirit. I can never explain it, exactly, but I love the Trinity and the gift of relationship with HIM.
And relationally, I only hope to encourage others in their faith walk, and acknowledge those (angels, friends, mentors) that have guided me (carried me, loved me, prayed for me, advised me, corrected me). I pray for my sisters that struggle with their faith, I pray that they can know the peace that comes with a relationship with Christ (because it is so good! and because it makes life more sensical- I'm not even sure that's a word- but it helps so much to know God and have that relationship through Christ).
So... Happy New Year!!! And Merry Christmas!!! And have fun doing resolutions and fresh starts (and don't be too hard on yourself when those resolutions are derailed, if they get derailed, no one is perfect, and we are all still growing- God isn't finished with any of us, yet!) and remember that I'm praying for and with you. 2012 was definitely a tough year, and 2013 may be as well, but... the Bible tells us "To Be Not Afraid"!!
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