goals...

I was asked about my short and long term goals yesterday in a phone interview.

It was a very in-depth interview, with very in-depth questions (apparently).

My Family... My Faith

This is what I answered. After a long (it probably wasn't so long) pause, the interviewer continued, "yes? anything else?" ummm.....

"Actually... for life, you mean? "

"yes..." I'm thinking that she was thinking, 'yes, Dear, for life ... and three for each, please: long term and short term' ... Thank you, Lord, that this was a kind, polite, and southern lady (yes, people from the south tend to have better manners and be more patient... the people from the mid-west are a close second... I know... I've been all over the United States... not judging, no harm intended...I'm just sayin')

"...um... OK... well, yes. I'd like to successfully launch my children, for them to be good and responsible... to be true to my faith... I like to write, I'd like to write more, maybe a book... I want to re-enter nursing... I'm just not sure how that looks... I'd like to get my masters degree."

"In what?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your masters... in what field?"

"I'm not sure... nursing, education, counseling..."

Could I sound more flighty? (don't answer that...)

Tough stuff, to actually try to map out my goals (on the fly, no less). I'm kind of stuck in the present. It's almost embarrassing. I mean, Mark has asked me, too, and my response is always the same: to support the kids, to support you.

But, what do you want to do?

My answer is: what I am doing...

Is that bad?

The present is all about my family, my children, my faith. I'm trying to be present with them, trying to instill the important stuff, and struggling with wondering if I'm doing a good job, or not. I guess I want to get more involved in nursing again, to generate income, but, really, my focus is on the family. I don't mean to sound altruistic... but I have a job to do... I'm doing it...

This is an example of what I want: I want us to pray more together, every day. I want us to have daily devotions.

What actually happens is this: we clean up (I'm a tidy-up person... it's just how it is) and then we go... and we have a kind of running dialogue between us (us being me, Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit and my kids... and the Saints- I talk to them, too-) ... but it isn't devotional, and it isn't separate and it's hardly ever quiet like I know it should be (except at meals and bed times - sometimes- )... I guess it is every day, though...

So. I freaked out just a little bit about this yesterday and today, on a big mental level, anyway. I mean, who doesn't have well articulated goals? Who asks those kind of questions in interviews these days anymore? I just wasn't prepared.

Or was I?

Family and Faith. I'm sure I should have said Faith and Family.

But, I did get a second call...

2 Corinthians 9: So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.