Today started well. A bit early, but I'm trying to be better about getting up and dressed before the children. I began very peacefully, quietly. I made banana bread, mopped the kitchen floor and had make up on before 8 am. I. don't. like. morning. As you can see, this is a pretty astonishing feat to accomplish. I used to work 12 hour days (in the hospital, in the ICU), so I really do feel inadequate with my un-organization in the morning, at times! Nevertheless, I accomplished my goals. Then, the girls woke up at roughly the same time, around 8am. The eight year old doesn't know how to be un-happy in the morning, even on only 7 hours of sleep (I'll get to that in a second), but the six year old starts and ends crabby. No problem, moving right along... breakfast, here is your work for the morning, Moms In Touch 9my praying moms group) is this morning (at 9:00), so do your work and stay quiet. They know how to do this... It's 8:40. Where is 'T'? Didn't I get him up, like, 30 minutes ago? -- He is asleep, like, coma, asleep. He doesn't want to get up. That was probably a clue I should have heeded, but we are both head-strong these days, so after poking and prodding, and finally cold water on the backside (it doesn't hurt him, and it is an effective way of rousing your child when you are thinking of less humane methods), he got up, got dressed, and got downstairs prior to my peaceful prayer group arriving. I love praying with these women. I love the peace it brings.
The first meltdown occurred at 9:15. It isn't too unusual that there is conflict first thing in the morning with 'T': he takes a while to get going, his structure was changed this morning. So, he calmed down rather quickly, but the next one (meltdown) at 11:00 went on for about 40 minutes. Most of it consisted of him yelling and screaming from his bed room, I'm sure for my benefit... but if any neighbors happened to be home, they got an earful... actually, just a rendition of "GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE!!!" I'm glad my prayerful friends weren't around to witness this, but one of them (at least) might read this and pray for me the rest of the week (hint, hint).
So, I think this may have started last night, actually, when I caught the girls having an impromptu wrestling match (!) at 10:30 at night. I really thought they were asleep. Not only were the girls awake, but so was the boy! It explains why he didn't want to get up this morning, and why we will be observing a 7:00 bedtime tonight!
On top of all this, my yoga today was lacking energy because of a sore back, I haven't been the same since our road trip to and from Florida. I had a new student, today, though, and I really want to make good impressions!
I'm praying for more flexibility (not just in my back). Today, if I were more flexible, perhaps the major meltdown could have been avoided. I HATE it when my twelve year old acts (literally) like a 3 year old. I hate it that I get so frustrated by it, and that by the time it is over I feel like I've lost my temper as well. I don't flail about and shout (maybe that would actually stun him into silence), but I get angry and upset. And, the girls, of course, witness everything. I know family situations teach a lot of great lessons, but when situations get so frustrating, it is hard to keep learning the lessons.
It is so very hard, at this point, to discern what is adolescence rearing it's (annoying) head, or if these behaviors are symptoms of food allergies, or if these are all autism spectrum issues...or a combination of it all (probably, a combination). So, I pray for discernment and wisdom as I continue to set limits, and teach appropriate responses to situations. I also pray for more patience. Lately, mine seems to be lacking! I don't want to be so manic-feeling all the time!
Patience, wisdom, and discernment. And tomorrow will be a better day!
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