It just so happens that I am a yogi. I guess that it is fair to say that I can call myself that! I’ve been a casual yoga practitioner for about twenty years. And by casual, I mean by video when I could motivate myself to do so. A few years ago I started dropping in on classes taught at a local studio and really started to fall in love with the practice, like wanting to do yoga more.
Last year, my husband decided he wanted to try yoga, too, and he fell in love with it (which actually didn’t surprise me). He did surprise me by suggesting that we buy the yearly membership and commit to going regularly.
Now, I get to practice whenever I want which ends up being about 5-6 days a week! And several times a week, it’s a date with my main man (bonus!!). It’s been fun to go together and grow together. My middle daughter commented to one of her friends, “who are these people?!” I guess it’s kind of a change for us all.
The best thing about practicing yoga consistently is the subtle changes one starts to notice about oneself. It’s fun to try a pose and find that all-of-the-sudden you are doing it- and doing it well! My strength has improved dramatically! I also find that when I’m especially stressed or anxious, I’m already breathing slowly and deeply. Total benefit, right?! Especially in today’s pandemic/political/economic situation.
Yoga Mala
So, yoga mala is the practice of doing 108 sun salutations. That’s a lot of work! Last weekend, my studio hosted a yoga mala, and Mark and I decided to go and make that our yoga for the day. 108 sun salutations takes about two hours. Yoga mala is 432 forward folds, 216 runners lunges, 216 downward dogs, 108 planks, 108 chaturangas (think push up with elbows tucked in), and lots of halfway lifts and arms over heads.
It. Was. A. Beast.
I felt like jello. For three days after.
Goggins!
I had one moment of wanting to quit, but then Dave Goggins got in my head and shut that down in a hot second.
If you don’t know who Dave is, I encourage you to google him! He is so motivational and inspiring. He also will inform you that your problems (with anything) are your own, in your own mind, and are not anybody’s fault. So, if you are the sensitive type, maybe don’t google him. He definitely is all about owning your issues, and not placing blame elsewhere.
But… think about owning your excuses and don’t quit something you’ve started.
Goggins posted something about being dehydrated, and wanting to stop his run… of course, he didn’t do that. He yelled, “IF you’re thirsty, then lick your lips!!!” Well, I licked my lips and tasted the freaking Atlantic Ocean!
Practice
Practice is just that: it’s practicing. No one is ever an expert at yoga, or anything, really, if you think about it. I love this about yoga! I love that you have good days and bad days, that you need to check your ego at the door before you get onto your mat, and that every class is a journey.
Yoga Mala may not have looked pretty- especially close to the end of my practice. Finishing what I started, though, and not giving up is pretty awesome. Making change, and feeling peaceful, and being healthy?
November 2, 2020/Comments Offon The Insomnia Chronicles
(Written about 4:30 am Saturday morning.)
So…
I got about two and a half hours of sleep. After falling asleep around midnight, my eyes opened at exactly 2:07, and I’ve been up ever since then.
This mama really, really tried to get back to sleep. First, I did my yoga breathing. Then, I tried to stay in Savasana. Next, I prayed. After an hour, I counted. Also, I tried at least forty-three different sleep positions.
I tried some Benadryl, then some Tylenol, then some CBD oil.
Finally, after the tosses and turns, I got out of bed at four, exhausted from trying to get back to sleep- at least the kitchen is a change in scenery, right? Plus the dogs are down here keeping me company.
Y’all… night-time insomnia is lonely.
Insomnia and Anxiety
Not being able to sleep spikes my anxiety levels to a mind-boggling intensity. You see, when I can’t sleep, I perseverate on trying to get back to sleep. When getting back to sleep is not working, my brain does a wonderful thing called “let’s-give-Kristen-all-the-morbid-thoughts-possible” scenario. Then, my brain decides to create crazy lists of things to do, things left undone, things I could have done better, and things I haven’t even thought about yet. The heart starts pounding. The chest starts hurting. The stomach does flip-flops.
Super-fun.
I think people that don’t struggle with this type of brain have a hard time understanding people that do.
Dos and Don’ts of Loving Your Insomniac
Here are some very unhelpful things to say:
“Pray more/Pray Harder”
“Just turn your brain off”
“Have you tried deep breathing?”
“Just relax”
“Try counseling”
— Because, yes, I’ve tried and/or done all the things. I’m exhausted.
Helpful things to say:
“Man, that sucks”
“Is there anything I can take off your plate today?”
“I’m here for you if you want to talk about it, or not talk about it”
“I’ll pray for you”
Disclaimer:
So- this isn’t woe-is-me… it’s just me. It’s the experience I’m having lately. It comes and goes intermittently for years at a time, seasons at a time, days at a time.
For now, I’m trying to get through it with self care, yoga, coffee, bubble-baths, wine, and a whole lot of Jesus. I rest when I can, give my all when I can, and hope for better nights:)
Keep calm, and get some rest (when you can’t sleep)!
I got the vid (what the family started calling COVID)! Last month completely went off the rails for me and my family. Vacation was ruined. Seeing my family was ruined. I infected my friends. I infected my husband. Once I started feeling pretty bad, homeschool didn’t happen… for like a month. The house didn’t get cleaned. It became Lord of the Flies around here! Living at my house was all about survival… A month later and we are still trying to regain control over here.
We had traveled to Florida early last month in order to visit friends and family, and for Mark to do this (50 mile!) Goruck event. We had planned to meet up with my dad, and to see my cousins and my aunt and uncle. We also planned to meet up with some of our best friends who had relocated to Florida.
What Happened First…
I never felt “sick,” or poorly, or anything before we left. I had no cause to be concerned about whether or not to travel. There were no known exposures for me to anyone with or suspected to have COVID. To be clear, I felt completely fine when we left Wednesday morning and started to head South.
As we were traveling (it is a twelve hour journey), I started to develop a dry cough. Being asthmatic, and having allergies, I truly believed I was experiencing allergies. It felt like an allergy cough. November is my hardest month of the year, allergy-wise. The mold count tends to be high, and everything is damp and decomposing. Every November I do, in fact, develop a dry cough. Again, I was so not worried.
When we arrived at our destination, Katie and I went to the grocery store to get food for the week. That evening, we had plans to have our close friends over to our little Airbnb for dinner. I felt absolutely fine. Friends came and we shared dinner and conversation for a few hours.
The next day, Mark and I took the kids to the mall, went out to eat, and just spent the day hanging out. Toward the end of the day, I started to feel a little more guncky. I had developed a post-nasal drip, and the cough started to sound a little wet. Still, I did not feel sick. I started to think, though, that I was fighting off a cold. Again, for November, for me, this was nothing out of the ordinary.
Covid was still not on my mind as even a possibility for what I was experiencing.
Uh-Oh
Then I woke up Friday morning.
So, Friday was the first day I felt under the weather. I felt tired, and like I was definitely getting a cold. Because that evening we were scheduled to get together with my family, I thought I should probably get a COVID test, just to put everyones’ minds at ease that it was just a cold. My dad and aunt and uncle or older, so on the off chance it was COVID, I would know to stay away. I was sure, though, I still had just a cold.
I went to a drive through testing site at a local pharmacy, then headed back home to wait for the results. Within an hour I got the phone call from the pharmacy that I was positive.
Shock, disbelief, couldn’t quite wrap my head around it! I am a mask wearer and a hand sanitizer-er. I’m very careful. How could this happen to me?!
Next Steps
I had to call my friends that we had dinner with. You know the walk of shame? I had the talk of shame. Luckily for me they are very good friends and very forgiving. Next, I called my family and explained to them why I couldn’t and wouldn’t be seeing them, and that I was SO sad. Mark cancelled his event. We packed up and headed home. At the end of the day, I had infected my friends and my husband.
The kids, miraculously, didn’t get it. I chalked that up to teens/twenty year olds just not being that interested in being around mom and dad all the time. They were sufficiently freaked out, though! I think Katie had a panic attack the whole way home. We wore some high-speed masks all the way home. I double masked. It was a long trip.
Quarantine Hell
Quarantining for 14 days was rough! Isolating for ten days in my bedroom with my husband was definitely rough. The thing is, though, that it’s doable, and not the end of the world. We made it work.
Like I said, the kids never did get it. We were careful about masking if we went to the kitchen for food. Everyone got a can of Lysol to use throughout the house. When I’d get breakfast, I would wipe down all the kitchen surfaces with cleaning wipes. Also, we literally stayed in our room for ten days. We only left it to get food, masked, gloved, and distanced. The kids stayed in their rooms for ten days. Katie walked around in a perpetual Lysol cloud for ten days. I hope she doesn’t get cancer, or something.
Not going to lie, a lot of things (read: EVERYTHING) fell through the cracks while were sick. Homeschool was completely not happening. It’s been hard to reign that back in this month! Katie thinks she’s done with school, I think! The house is finally clean again. It took a bit. The only person that was non-plussed, and life didn’t really change for was Tommy. He was vibin’
Signs and Symptoms
Symptom wise, for Mark, things were pretty much done by day three. He had one day of fever, had a slight cough, and a few days of body aches. He still gets tired, and his sense of taste and smell are slowly returning. My friends, luckily, had very similar experiences. They were just never really sick.
While I managed to stay out of the hospital, I did get pretty sick. I got the cough, the congestion, the body aches, the nausea, the GI issues, loss of taste and smell, and headaches. I have lung pain (still) and, weirdly, eyeball pain. The headaches and cough are lingering, and my sense of taste and smell are very slowly returning. I’m also still very fatigued.
So, the take away? Be careful! It’s not “just a flu.”
Most people do just fine. Some people don’t. COVID hurts.
Be Smart, Be Kind, Be Respectful
My theory is that hand washing and sanitizing are bigger issues than masking is, regarding transmission of the virus. Masks are still beneficial, though, in my opinion, especially for more vulnerable populations. Social distancing, though, is most important. Stay away from people when you are out and about! If you have friends over, don’t be in each other’s faces, and don’t share food. Don’t eat off of common plates, or grab chips out of a common bowl, or anything like that! Wash your hands. Often. Hand sanitize in between hand washes.
I still am at a loss for how I contracted the virus. Being a nurse, some people are thinking I had to have gotten it at work. It’s possible. I think, though, at work I’m at my safest. I wear ALL the protective equipment at work! I double mask, and wear goggles or a face shield. In high-risk rooms I wear a gown. I wear a scrub cap all the time. I wash my hands more at work, and I sanitize every time I think of it!
So… keep calm! For real, keep calm. This is a highly survivable illness for most of the population. That is not a political statement- it’s a true statement. Love one another, be kind to others who have different levels of anxiety about all this than you. We can all contribute to helping one another instead of tearing each other apart. Be careful out there, and be smart about holiday gatherings with your friends in family. I’m not against getting together, but take precautions and be safe:)
I know during the Christmas holidays (fondly referred to as the madness season), I tend to over indulge. It’s true... Knowing that there will be yummy casseroles, pies, cookies, wine, and other fruity beverages, I tend to just be ok with the extra calories and lack of movement. It’s probably not the healthiest track to take, but it works for me. So, I’ve had my two weeks of debauchery! It’s time to come off the sugar/carb high... ughhhhh...
So, welcome back to a new season, a new year, a new time. Do you make resolutions? I do, though they tend to take the shape of goals. My resolutions also don’t just happen at the beginning of the year, but all throughout the year- small goals in small increments. I like to say that life is a marathon, not a sprint. It helps me, at least.
Here’s to 2019... May your year be blessed and fruitful!
I welcome 2019 with anticipation and eagerness for a good year to come! I’ve made my resolutions and have tempered said resolutions with a measure of grace. I don’t want to feel like a complete failure in February or March when I’ve gotten “off track” of remaining committed to my self-made promises.
This year I have discovered challenges- one of my friends challenged me to walk one thousand miles in 2019. I didn’t sign up on a site, or anything like that, but I will try to walk one thousand miles! That got me to thinking about other challenges I could take, which led me to some cool ideas. For the second year in a row, I’m doing a reading challenge. I love to read, so I don’t know if this technically counts as a challenge, but that is what Goodreads calls it. There is a hike challenge I’m interested in, too. Plus, I got an Apple Watch for Christmas, so every day is a challenge in terms of activity tracking and things like that.
The family is doing well. Katie is dancing all the time (still) and Danielle is rocking her college career. Tommy is having fun (and getting dirty) playing with dogs (AND getting paid). Mark is plowing through grad school. I’m managing the household, homeschooling, driving the two living at home everywhere, and continuing to write. I’m a writer. I need to embrace that I’m a writier, and start acting like I’m a writer, so I can be a writer. So, there it is.
Well, November has been an... interesting (?) month.
My mom got sick- the kind of sick where the doctor says, “she may not survive this,” sick. My husband and I drove as fast as legally (ish) possible to get from where we are to where she and my dad are. It really and truly did not look good. And, she survived.
My dad injured his back- the kind of injury where he was using my mom’s walker- injury. He was in a tremendous pain. So, while mom was in the ICU, my brother and my husband and I made appointments with his general doctor, with the MRI people, and “cold calling” the ortho doctor to see if there was any way to get him seen sooner.
Perseverance paid off, and he was seen and scheduled for surgery the next week. So... My brother and I made lots of plans to cover all the care for dad, from having to be taken to surgery and taken back home from the hospital, and transitioning him to getting back on his feet at home. You know, we made plans. So, of course everything changed. Dad did not need to be in the hospital for as long as the doctor anticipated, which is good news, but this skewed the anticipated time tables of piecing together work, time off, and things like that. Mom meanwhile, was also doing great (good news, again!) and was actually transferred to a skilled nursing facility and out of the hospital.
For about four hours.
Then, mom got really sick again. She was transferred back to the hospital, and that seems to be where we are now. She is doing better, and Dad continues to improve.
Life always seems to somehow like to throw us the proverbial curve ball. What we expect is never what happens. Right? We are always learning how to be fluid, I laugh because I keep saying that this is a fluid situation. It’s hard, in my opinion, to live a fluid situation lifestyle.
God is God, and I am not. I am clinging to that truth right now. It actually comforts me, and reminds me that I am always learning something.
